Refugee Children – Hope for the Future
Our relationships with children are determined not by how children are,
By James Hillman, Reclaiming the Inner Child
but by how we imagine them to be.
So imagine deeply.
Myth # 1 – Young children don’t remember traumatic experiences, especially if they occurred early in life. Since they can’t remember or talk about trauma, it won’t affect them.
Fact # 1 – Research shows that trauma impacts everyone who experiences it, even tiny infants. When children older than 28 months experience trauma, they retain verbal recall of the event. Children younger than 28 months have behavioral recall, later seen in play, dreams, and reenactments.
Act as if what you do makes a difference. It does.
-William James
Myth # 2 – It is better to forget bad things that have happened and instead concentrate on the good things that are happening. If children keep talking about something traumatic, try to help them to forget about it, or distract them by saying something funny.
Fact # 2 – If children are discouraged from talking about trauma, they often become preoccupied and feel alone with their worries. No one who is preoccupied can learn new things. Therefore, if children cannot talk and integrate their traumatic experiences, they will have difficulty taking in new experiences. They may even appear learning disabled.
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.
-Maya Angelou
Myth # 3 – If a child refuses to talk or be responsive; he or she is just being stubborn.
Fact # 3 – Some children who have been traumatized feel overwhelmed by their own inner experiences or feelings and become withdrawn and detached from their “here and now” experiences. At those moments, they may be unable to respond.
Students do not care what you know until they know how much you care.
Larry Ferizzzo, Teacher
Myth # 4 – Traumatized children always appear timid and fragile and are easily managed in a classroom.
Fact # 4 – While traumatized children may at times be timid and withdrawn, they may also become quite volatile, undergoing panic attacks and flashbacks, even without outbursts, that make them difficult to manage.
Actions speak louder than words.
Unknown
Myth # 5 – If a child is acting out in a hurtful way, he or she is being willful and can choose to stop the bad behavior.
Fact # 5 – Children, who have been traumatized, often identify with those who have traumatized them to such an extent that they feel compelled to “do unto others” what was done to them. They need an adult’s help to stop their vengeful behavior; before they can stop themselves, they need help to feel their own hurt.
We live by our emotions.
-Bonnie M. Bullard, PhD
Myth #6 – Not telling children the truth is sometimes better because it spares them the bad news.
Fact #6 – If children are told the truth sometimes, but not at others, they learn to distrust adults and won’t know what to believe. They need to know the truth in order to integrate those experiences into their lives and move on.
Play gives children a chance to practice what they are learning.
-Fred Rogers
